Nothing like a party to see the forces of good and bad together in conversation. You probably have not seen most of the crowd all year long and now it's time to blend in and mingle like you just saw them yesterday.
The party I went to last week did not consist of the ingredients that make up the Oprah Book Club. It was nothing but a who's who of the music industry. Chances are if you did not know a little something about it you were going to be sitting there twiddling your thumbs.
So what do you talk about?
How do you not look like an idiot?
Below are tips for party mingling and my real life conversations last week.
Remember what you find interesting about movie stars, musicians and TV:
Why does that man have a Janis Joplin action figure next to his coat? Was he not in the band? Should I ask him what he is doing with it and why?
Remember some opening lines that will lead to discussion:
"Oh my goodness are those real Manolo Blahniks ? Can I touch them and see the label in your shoe? You only paid $35.00 for them? Are they real? Let me see that label again!
"If you want your shoes to be more comfortable put Dr. Scholl wings on the inside of your shoes at the heels and then your foot will not slip. Believe me I used to hear that from strippers all the time."
People LOVE talking about themselves so listen:
"Yeah, we used to be the back up band for Sonny and Cher."
I am sitting barely 200 inches away from someone that probably hugged Cher. I am silently screaming and it is growing louder in my brain. I am now certain that the silent screams are now exiting my ears. Please do not let anyone hear me.
Ask people questions:
"So how old are you?" I asked.
" I am 12." she replied.
" So what do you want to be when you are older?" ( You never ever say the words " grow up" anymore)
" I want to be either a musician or study Medieval Torture Devices." she replies.
"Do you like the TV show Glee?" I questioned.
And just like that within ten seconds we were into a delightful conversation about Glee and waist training.
Talk about a television series that you're passionate about:
"So what's your favourite TV show now? Do you like Hoarders?" I ask.
Steve said, "I cannot watch that show man. I feel like I am just one step away from it sometimes."
The party patron says his favourite show now is "Oddities".
All three of us immediately engage in a heartfelt conversation about stuffed sloths, fingernail clipping jewelry, and people that like straight jackets.
Try to figure out the obstacles between you and potential great conversations:
"Hey gorgeous how are you tonight?" he asks.
"How about that necklace you have on - want to take it off? "
Steve comes back and I tell him about the brief conversation and he says,
"Do you know who that was?"
I sit there and shake my head and silently scream once more. This time I scream for help and where was he 40 years ago when musicians were my passion? I am lucky I can walk and talk at the same time now.
Compliment people on their attire:
Due east in the main room there is a 40's something female who is not fooling anyone with her vintage 60's attire. This is not Halloween for her - she is dead serious. Wearing a dress way too short and Tressy doll hair that is dyed way too black, she is fishing for compliments. She is not getting any from me.
Everytime she bends over to grab a potato chip and dip we are getting flashes of underwear that are not vintage. Her pantyhose rides up in the front and sinks to depth defying lows in the back. Once again she bends over and dips a chip and I hide my eyes. After the fifth time I can no longer sit there and watch this shady Shindig show. I wait for the next dip and there we have it ladies and gentlemen.
One Moon Pie to go!
Be outrageous, but never obnoxious in your conversation.
Man holds up his iPhone for everyone to see and screams,
"How do you like this for remaining true to the 60's?"
I anticipate a photo of some piece of modern architecture or art. It must be pretty special to have taken a picture of whatever it is. I glance at it and there lies a photo of an exact and not a replica 1960's toilet he has had installed.
I look at Steve and ask,
"Time to go?" and he nods.
I yawn and we drive back to the place we call home. The place that has the basic modern white single flush toilet.
There is no place like home that is filled with nothing but warm conversation and a toilet that is designed to fit everyday standards. Did I mention it has a 5.5 inch bolt spread?
Now there is a conversation starter for you!
Linda Seccaspina for Zoomers Canada