The day I was given this recipe I was almost arrested by the Ottawa Vice Squad while holding the Brownie recipe and arguing with some law officer who thought he was Serpico.

Why was I arguing with him you ask?
Because he thought I was letting children play with adult toys.

Was he kidding me?

I may be a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but that would never happen under my watch.

My former fashion store in Ottawa called Flash Cadilac had a small naughty novelty section. Actually, it was all of three shelves in a plexi glass cube that had a cheap Canadian Tire lock on it.

Anyone carrying that sort of stuff in the 70's  was considered very racy, even though it would never be considered close to what is sold today. All I had were a few cheesy gaping mouth rubber dolls, vibrators, creams and lotions that went hand in hand with the very first lingerie designs in Canada called Coquette Lingerie.

Back in those days Catherine and Peter Horea used to create their designs in a one bedroom apartment in the Waterloo, Ontario area  and sell them to the very few stores that chose to carry them.

One day a customer of mine got angry - she could not return a piece of lingerie that was apparent she had worn many times. I offered her a credit even though you are not supposed to accept returns of lingerie according to the health laws of Canada, which makes perfect sense if you think about it carefully.

After offering her a solution and getting the garbage can ready for the item, she refused, stormed out, and did what every other angry customer does. She called the Ottawa Vice Squad and told them I was allowing children to play with sex toys from my locked plexiglass case.

Because my store was so eclectic for the 70's, the police believed the woman and decided to get to the bottom of the porn barrel, so to speak. A day later while carrying on a conversation with one of my seamstresses about the Brownie recipe, a crowd of lumberjack storm troopers came busting through my store looking for toddlers playing with battery operated devices not sold at Radio Shack.

The under-cover Vice Squad ravaged the place like a bad episode of Law & Order SVU, looking for who knows what. The main lumberjack asked me in French why I was allowing children to play with the pleasure goods and I started to laugh. The more I laughed and tried to explain things, the angrier he got and ordered his posse to seize everything that looked questionable and looked like a male's lower appendage.

For one hour they scoured every inch of the store and all they could come up with was one lone item that he slammed down on the counter and told me they were taking it downtown.

The item which was carefully put into a plastic bag was a hot pink vibrator that had a bear climbing up a tree. When you turned on said vibrator the little wee bear went into motion and the rest you can discuss amongst yourself.

Francois put the bear barely three inches from my face and said,

"This shall be seized!"

I started to laugh, and told him if he thought that looked like something a male was born with, then he had an anatomy problem. But, off they went with the contraband vibrator - never ever to be seen again.

The recipe however, has stayed with me for decades and moved my soul like that little climbing bear.

Now be forewarned - this is an Adult Brownie Recipe that is meant to be savoured with a loved one. This ultimate naughty brownie is so sultry and delicious it should have a warning on it.

However, there are two secrets to these brownies:

Do not over bake them, and put the frosting on top of the hot brownies as soon as they come out of the oven, which will make it turn to the consistency of fudge.

Happy Baking and enjoy!

Linda's Adult Brownies 

8 tbsp butter, margerine or whatever you use.

4 ounces of semisweet chocolate coarsely chopped up. I use chocolate chips

2 large eggs at room temperature

Pinch of salt

2/3 cup granulated sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1/2 cup all purpose flour

1 cup  chopped walnuts if you want nuts.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees

Lightly grease a 'square' pan

I melt the butter in the microwave, but you can  also melt the butter in a small sauce pan over low heat.

Next add the chocolate. I take the bowl out of the microwave and add the chips. The  I nuke it for 45 seconds. I take it out and stir and voila, they are all melted.

In a large bowl combine the eggs and salt and bet them for 30 seconds.

Gradually add the sugar and continue to beat until light. About a minute or so.

Add the vaanilla, the melted chocolate and butter and beat until smooth.

With a spoon, stir in the flour until just blended. Add the walnuts if you want them and pour into prepared pan.

Bake about 25 minutes.

I wait unti they are firm on top but never crusty and pulling away from the sides of the pans. 

Keep them moist people.

Frosting

4 ounces of chocolate either coarsely chopped or again I use the chocolate chips.

A couple tablespoons of butter or it's equivalent

1  1/2 cups confectioners sugar

1/4 cup of milk, cream or Carnation Milk and keep adding if needed.

I melt the butter and chocolate the same way as the brownies in the microwave.

You do not want a thick or runny frosting.

Medium consistency, so it flows like lava on the top of the brownies.

When the brownies come out of the oven, immediately put the frosting on top. Yes, Immediately.

You need a few hours for the frosting to set, but it is so worth it.

Variations:

I also can put peanut butter chips in the batter, and then sub the chocolate chips in the frosting for the peanut butter ones for a sort of peanut butter cup brownie also shown in the picture.

But those are only for a real sweet tooth as they are very sweet, but still lucious.

sigh.. nothing but Food Porn

Linda Seccaspina for Zoomers Canada

Author of "Menopausal Woman From the Corn"